Oh to be Proud!
Pride
changing from year to year
At eleven, I thought it had to do
with grades and achievements
playing piano scales
without mistakes
perfect marks to show people
where I was
who I was
At thirteen, I was proud
at having started junior high
making it through a single day
navigating from class to class
with new kids, new teachers
on a campus so big
it even had its own tunnel
to channel students
from one side of the street to the other
where I suddenly found myself
By fourteen, I was old enough
to go to boy-girl parties
play spin the bottle,
intimidate some spindly looking guy
who stood frozen in my friend's shower
pressed up against the tiled wall
as he braced himself
for my kiss, the consequence
of truth or dare
exciting, electrifying
finding myself there
brought me the illusion that I was grown-up
Sixteen, a junior in high school
no more ponytails or frilly dresses
only faded jeans and workshirts
a black armband worn above the elbow
everyone knew I was
mourning the state of the nation
pride, transforming
from acquiescence, compliance
to rebellion with attitude
exactly where I wanted to be
By twenty-one, I was graduating college
proud to be heading off
for a Masters and doctorate
proud that I was young woman
full of dreams and hopes
full of myself
on a path that seemed to stretch on endlessly everything was possible
At twenty-five, I thought about career
and children
and what mark I would make on the world
what I would leave behind
how would people know that I had been here
books, paintings
insightful comments I spewed forth
something about my life
had to make a difference, didn't it?
I yearned for so much
could see it just a breath away
Time passing
year after year after year
sixty-one, I sit and ponder
pride
the forms it has taken
the changes morphing into something different
something new
year after year after year
and now I wonder
did any of it matter
did it change me, or them, or you
where I was
where I wanted to be
where I now find myself
Reanne Singer, November 17, 2014
Pride
changing from year to year
At eleven, I thought it had to do
with grades and achievements
playing piano scales
without mistakes
perfect marks to show people
where I was
who I was
At thirteen, I was proud
at having started junior high
making it through a single day
navigating from class to class
with new kids, new teachers
on a campus so big
it even had its own tunnel
to channel students
from one side of the street to the other
where I suddenly found myself
By fourteen, I was old enough
to go to boy-girl parties
play spin the bottle,
intimidate some spindly looking guy
who stood frozen in my friend's shower
pressed up against the tiled wall
as he braced himself
for my kiss, the consequence
of truth or dare
exciting, electrifying
finding myself there
brought me the illusion that I was grown-up
Sixteen, a junior in high school
no more ponytails or frilly dresses
only faded jeans and workshirts
a black armband worn above the elbow
everyone knew I was
mourning the state of the nation
pride, transforming
from acquiescence, compliance
to rebellion with attitude
exactly where I wanted to be
By twenty-one, I was graduating college
proud to be heading off
for a Masters and doctorate
proud that I was young woman
full of dreams and hopes
full of myself
on a path that seemed to stretch on endlessly everything was possible
At twenty-five, I thought about career
and children
and what mark I would make on the world
what I would leave behind
how would people know that I had been here
books, paintings
insightful comments I spewed forth
something about my life
had to make a difference, didn't it?
I yearned for so much
could see it just a breath away
Time passing
year after year after year
sixty-one, I sit and ponder
pride
the forms it has taken
the changes morphing into something different
something new
year after year after year
and now I wonder
did any of it matter
did it change me, or them, or you
where I was
where I wanted to be
where I now find myself
Reanne Singer, November 17, 2014